One Halloween in the early ‘70s Nelson had a poker party (of course), but before the first ante everyone participated in a backyard haunted maze for the neighborhood kids. Bob had enlisted the help of his friends to dig and build and fill the yard with special effects, ghoulish obstacles and macabre scenes. There were strobe lights, dry-ice fog, eerie music and gory contributions from the meat market while costumed pranksters entertained and frightened scores of unsuspecting trick-or-treaters on one magical night. It was theater.
No matter how long someone lives it usually seems too short a time. Fate gave Bob a lot of obstacles to overcome, and then he threw in a few of his own. He is among the last of a generation to have a long leash; but there wasn’t a lead long enough for Bob. He continually sought independence, looked for different ways to make money and alternatives to needing money altogether. He was filled with dreams and schemes and ideas for a better life. He pursued these as best he could and in the process did extraordinary things. Like a lot of us from this town, at that time, Nelson had support from home; Delia was always his advocate. Whether taking on the schools or the cops, she stood by his side - as long he was in the right. Bob earned the respect of his friends for his unending struggle for liberation. He earned our friendship because he was funny, exciting and had a heart of gold.
I’d like to read from Jack Kerouac, the book On the Road, chapter one, paragraph eleven: “...the only ones for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn like fabulous yellow roman candles …” It’s hard to talk about Nelson in terms of regular folks. He has always been out there, always pushing buttons or stretching the limits of convention. One night we were on his bus somewhere. It was late and we were toast. We got to talking about stuff that sometimes comes up when everything is worn out and it was then that Bob shared a philosophic bent to his behavior. He was on a mission, he was testing bounds, pushing limits, his and ours, all the time. He didn’t have time for complacency. No time to relax, there were frontiers to investigate, social and personal experiments to pursue. He might get obnoxious, he could tick you off, he could be a brat, but this was a method to his madness. After that night on the bus, he was fascinating to watch. He knew what he was doing and he would make huge sacrifices get what he, or you, needed. He was excited by life and it’s possibilities and wanted to experience it all, all at once.
From Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, first book, chapter 7/12: “I would only believe in a god who could dance. And when I saw my devil I found him serious, thorough, profound and solemn: it was the spirit of gravity- through him all things fall. Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter. Come let us kill the spirit of gravity (with laughter)!” Here’s where Bob seemed to excel. No matter how grave, how serious the situation seemed to be, he would laugh it off. When things were dire, whether it be diabetes, hepatitis, bed sores or paralysis, he laughed his cackling laugh and continued on, managing or overcoming almost any problem, laughter being his best medicine.
Bob Malgeri may have best summed up Nelson’s character with this poker reference; "I love it when Nelson goes all in with shit for a hand". Nelson had been dealt a lot of bad hands and yet he went all in with whatever he had. He thought he was the master of bluff and always believed he'd get away with it. Maybe he was just trying to bluff himself. He wasn't supposed to walk again and dealt that horrible hand he got up and fell flat on his face a thousand times, bluffing, making believe he could walk; and eventually he did. He's no fool, so he may be the eternal optimist. Or alchemist. An alchemist does the impossible; the popular notion is that they can turn lead into gold and that's pretty much Nelson. He turned his lead legs into walking tools again. He has also taken a lot of the lead in our lives and turned them to solid-gold memories. The last ten years or so Bob mellowed quite a bit. His pace in Mexico was certainly slow and maybe he brought that back with him. Maybe he had taught us all he could about agitation and was sitting back to see how we would use his example. Maybe he just got tired.
In the Marriage of Heaven and Hell William Blake suggests, “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” If this is true we may be surrounded with some of the wisest people outside of Tibet. Sometimes when we’d talk about excessive behavior Bob would get kinda quiet and just rock and grin, saying “One thing for sure, nobody gypped us out of anything.”
Picture Nelson riding his Honda chopper down Brea Blvd, dressed in a Santa suit, Janie Uneik on the back throwing treats out to friends they’d pass, cackling all the way… All the world's a stage (from As You Like It 2/7), And all the men and women merely players … Shakespeare didn’t comment on the directors. Nelson could command a room just by entering it. There was no avoiding his presence and you generally went with the direction he provided. The king of good spirits, there isn't a soul out there who hasn't completely cracked up with Nelson and will continue laughing while reliving the millions of stories and experiences that he gave us, none of them with a yawn or a commonplace thing in them. Life with Nelson was theater.
from Nelson's funeral April 2012
